A Quiet Sunday Morning

So I'm out on the verandah, hanging out the washing and enjoying the peace and quiet when this car drives down the street, not one I've seen before.

It starts up next door's driveway, which is 1 block over because it's a large double block. It seems to be going up slowly when I hear the tyres start to spin on the wet concrete. It gets worse and I hear the engine start to whine, as we say 'revving the guts out of it', with smoke pouring into the air.

I see the car just make it to the top of the driveway, which is quite steep, but then horribly start to slide sideways. It quickly builds up speed and screeches out of view backwards. I then hear a sort of loud bang and then nothing, as smoke wafts away up into the air.

I see someone with white hair slowly moving at the bottom of the driveway, but it's hard to make out who because of the trees and I can 't see the car anymore... I suddenly realise it's the elderly mother of the lady next door, Elizabeth. I don't know the mother's name but I call out 'hello, hello' to try to get her attention, which isn't working. So I yell out, stupidly 'Elizabeth's mum!' - she looks up and I wave at her and tell her we're coming over.

I yell out to S and tell him what's happened and we all run down the drive and along the road. I realise I have a pair of furry cat ears on my head and am running down the road wearing purple slippers with red, yellow and pink bobbles on the front. These are all quickly removed...

The car has gone down the drive backwards and then swung hard round anti-clockwise and is almost facing the other way, towards the road but jammed backwards into the shrubbery. Elizabeth's mum is shaking and has a bad cut on her hand but she's okay. She said she only bought the car recently, which is why I didn't recognise it, and thought it lost power when going up the drive.

I said I thought it was some crazy hoon causing a nuisance, but it was very creative parking. Said could she do it again 'cos he missed all the action.

MarleyBob came over to see what assistance he could offer, including giving the car a good sniff over and checking the shrubbery for small animals, before rolling around on the drive.

They later got the car out of its predicament fairly easily, with not a scratch on it.

We all went home for a nice cup of tea and a lie down... too much excitement for one day!

The Imposter

I had a visit on the weekend from a neighbour across the road.

She said 'Do you have a cat?'

Yes - I have two.

'Is one of them a black cat?'

Yes - they both are

'Does one of them have a red collar?'

Well, it's orange really....

At that point I'm thinking there's bad news at the end of the conversation.

'I don't want to complain but I have to let you know he's been waking me up at 3.30am trying to get at the birds in my aviary'

That can't be right - he's inside every night

'Last night I caught him halfway up the cage...'

It must be some other cat...

'Do you know any other black cats in the area?'

Well, no - there's a black and white cat...

'that's mine...'

And a white cat...

'that's mine too..'

I can assure you he's in every night once it gets dark - we have a cat door and lock it once he's in... besides he sleeps in my daughter's room and she always knows he's in'

'I understand they can get out - I just needed to let you know. I get up at 4.30 but 3.30 is just too much... besides him trying to eat my birds!'

All I can say is, we definately keep him in at night and it would be quite rare for him to be out... but be assured we'll be extra careful - but he is always in anyway...

She left fairly happy.

Later on when I told S 'of all the cheek, coming over here and complaining about MarleyBob - he's always in at night, and anyway I don't complain about her stupid white cat coming over here and making MB growl out of the window at him...'

'Actually, one of the cats did get out last night when I got home from the gig...'

Which cat?!

'I'm not sure but I think it was MarleyBob'

What!

'And I think he got out the night before... and the other night after practice... and you know he's so naughty and won't come back...'

Noooooooooooooo...

So now I have to skulk around the neighbourhood in shame. I have replaced the orange collar with a blue one so MB can be incognito and remain innocent...

The Compleat Doggy Tale

So I'm driving to work, as usual, and stop at the lights of a main intersection.

A slightly ' alternative lifestyle' looking person walks across the crossing, followed closely by a small, perky Jack Russell-type dog, not on a lead.

They both clear the crossing and start off down the path. I glance away.

I glance back and see the man approaching the dog with a large, flowery plastic bag. Hmm, I think, that's being responsible - he's obviously going to pick up something said dog has 'deposited' but what a large bag for such a purpose. I glance away.

But something catches my eye and I flick back - the man does not pick up a deposit, instead he scoops the dog into the plastic bag, holds the bag by the handles and then nimbly hops on to a bus that just pulled up.

The lights turned green but I sat there for a moment doing the classic double take 'what the... did he... was that.. huh?'

A funny tail indeed.