Tuesday, June 01, 2004

101 knots for boys

I've noticed that the boy does NOT like to be hit, tapped or biffed in any way unless he is absolutely sure you are playing a game with him.

On the otherhand he is a dab hand at headbutting you in the guts if you are not looking. The man of the house was encouraging this as a blokey bloke thing but I've had to put a stop to it pretty quick smart. Turns out the boy was running up to our girl at school lunchtimes and giving her a quick headbut when she wasn't looking. I told her if he didn't stop as requested that she was quite entitled to push him over. All has been quiet on the western front so far...

If you do happen to tap him for some reason he immediately thinks he is under threat and whips round on you like a small terrier, teeth snapping, "Don't hit me!"

My mind has gone back to something I said to him early on in this jolly escapade, when he was playing up somewhat (at the time his head was in the corner and he was in a mood):

"You need to think about what is the worst thing that can happen to you if you're naughty. We aren't going to smack you because I think you are too big for smacking."

He turned around in tears and said, "Well you tell that to my Mummy..." in a distressed tone.

And he has mentioned being 'hit' at other times.

Let's face it, we've all smacked our kids at times, but it sounds like this was more heavy duty as he's quite traumatised by it.

So now he's built up this wall about any kind of physical contact other than a hug, although it's interesting to note that he shuns affection in times of distress. He also gets quite thingy when you try to dust him down before school, or fix his collar. So I think all this is a form of self-protection - again, he's preparing for an attack and getting ready to defend himself.

I need to talk to him about this.

Although I hate these little tantrums, I have to admit that they are opportunities for discussion and helping to think about problems in a healthy environment, something he has not been able to do at home.

So many knots to undo, so little time...

noticed: The moral decay of Australia, transcript of a speech by Peter Costello on our National Day of Thanksgiving

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